Birthday: 53 in Soc Son (November 30, 2025)
On my 50th birthday, I threw myself a rocking party. With about three times the number of people in attendance (i.e. about 150 guests) I managed to combine all of my discrete words: Martial Arts (Soo Bahk Do, Moo Duk Kwan), Spirituality (Unitarian Universalist Congregation at Shelter Rock), Work (I surprised my coaching team colleagues at Positive Intelligence), Family (my brother and cousin flew in from LA in addition to Elena, Will, Violet, and nephew Reeve) and friends from various walks of life. Open bar, more food than you could eat and DJ “Bone Crusher” kept us dancing as I brought out the flashy toys and dry ice was dumped onto the crowd at a peak moment. My brother even wrote and performed a song for me. It was one for the books.
And that’s what happens (generally) as we age. The decades are celebrated like mad when we turn 30, 40, and 50 and the in between years tend to be more low key.
And then what do you do when you’re halfway around the world disconnected from your immediate friends, family and community social groups? Sure, you get schedule a phone call, receive and respond to lots of texts and social media posts, but how do you celebrate the day itself?
One friend (Duc): that is truly enough to make any day extra special
Here’s the thing. Duc is just NOW finding out that it was my birthday. I choose not to tell him. Instead, when he offered to take me hiking on Sunday (which just happened to be my birthday) I accepted as the special gift it already was. A new friend from Vietnam wanted to spend the day with me and go hiking. Amazing. Why complicate it by over-sharing about that particular day being my birthday. It was perfect exactly as it was (and as you’ll see as it unfolds).
We began our morning sharing coffee and connecting. He had recently been to Singapore and shared his experiences with me as I shared about my time in Thailand as well as other places I’ve shared about here on my blog. He also recently went to a wedding and played ping pong with an 80 year old woman who was also a psychic. We talked about the interconnected web in which we are all apart.
We then rode his scooter to Soc Son, which is about an hour outside of Hanoi via scooter. It’s been a long time since I was on the back of a motorcycle or scooter and I enjoyed the wind in my face as we made our way to the new area of Vietnam. The ride was gorgeous and I had a real sense of how most people get around in Hanoi (via scooter).
For lunch, Duc introduced me to pettitoe, otherwise known as pig’s foot. I was curious since I enjoy most other pork products. It was added to an otherwise amazingly delicious Bánh canh (thick noodle) soup. Didn’t care for pettitoe, but I felt good for at least trying something new I’d never had before. And then we began our hike through the hills of Soc Son, which reminded me of Northern California where I grew up.
While the trail was dry, there were several trees which had most recently been knocked down. This turned a hike into more of a parkour challenge as we navigated up, over, under and through the downed trees – and there were many more of them than you might think.
At one point, the trail turned straight up and a rope was provided so that we could do a bit of a Batman-like vertical walk up the side of the sheer cliff face. From there we were plopped into a field of ferns and a really steep slope. That made it extra tricky to navigate as any slip and it was a fast and furious ride back down where we came.
Each peak would drop into a new trail and that trail would take us to a new peak and so on. It felt like we reached the summit several times, but each time there was another one to climb (which is just about a perfect analogy for how life is, right?). If our goal was to reach the summit, it was unclear when exactly that would be given the terrain and various signs we were following. But that’s fine, this was more about the journey than the destination.
No sooner than we saw confusing signs telling us to “Slow Down” than we saw the offroading motorcycle the sign was designed for. So impressive. I was barely able to stand with all the slippery dirt under my feet. I couldn’t imagine riding a dirt bike up these steep hills.
In fact, my only “negative” was that this hike made it clear how much smog was surrounding Hanoi. Even from the top where the views were spectacular, the smog prevented the ability to see clearly what was down below. It also dulled the greens from the mountains off in the distance. I could recall this exact situation growing up in the 1980s in Los Angles when I would visit my relatives. You could rarely see the mountains off in the distance through the smog. With roughly 15 million motorbikes in Hanoi (not counting the millions of cars), you can see the problem.
At last, we made it to the top as marked by both a monument and a Vietnam flag. It was fun waving the flag around and getting several shots triumphantly at the top of the highest peak. Of course, now we needed to scale down the same rock face and use the rope to navigate our way to the bottom. Not bad!
We rode back to Hanoi, met up with a few more friends and then had dinner. This time I tried a soft cooked egg in my soup as well as beef brisket in the thin Pho noodles. Really good.
More ex-Pat friends in Hanoi and some just passing through
After dinner, Duc knew of an amazing cheesecake spot. And this is what I’ve learned about the Vietnamese, they KNOW how to cook. I had no hesitation and these deserts were better than I had hoped. Key Lime cheesecake and caramel cheesecake. Heaven! We split them both as we both enjoyed them.
Enjoying Key Lime Cheesecake and Caramel Cheesecake. Sooo Good!
This place collected a series of artifacts from Hanoi including the water puppet show (see related post). This was most certainly a dessert lounge designed to have you join after dinner for coffee and a treat.
And that would be enough to call it a night, but Duc had other ideas. He wanted to show me a lesser known back alley where his friend served coffee and a mini zoo. Turns out his friend love animals and has collected many types over the years including fish, reptiles, a hedgehog, bird, bunny, dog and cat.
What I’m holding in my hand there is a book of Vietnam stamps. He’s collected many over the years and asked if I was interested in them. I was, very much so. I collected US stamps for awhile so I know what it takes to get a good collection going. He did a marvelous job and I so admire his handiwork.
As we said our goodbyes, Duc pointed out a core Vietnam saying posted on the wall of the back alley we used to get to this location. It says, “Độc lập, Tự do, Hạnh phúc” translates to, "Independence, Freedom, and Happiness" which are core principles of Vietnam.
Độc lập, Tự do, Hạnh phúc = Independence, Freedom, and Happiness
And I can’t think of a better way to begin my 53rd year on this earth. I am independent. I am free. And I am happy. It’s great to be alive and I’ve really loved my time in Hanoi. This was a perfect way to end my stay here as I pack up and head to Dong Hoi tomorrow to hike into one of the largest caves in the world and spend the night there before hiking back out. What a crazy cool adventurous life I am so privileged to lead. Thank you for taking this journey alongside of me.
And thank you for making my life so much richer for being part of it.
When I got home from this epic day, I responded to as many of the texts and messages of Happy Birthday well wishes I received. Nice to be so loved and cared for by friends and family members alike. Here’s to another year of continued growth, learning, and being a servant leader to all those who seek out the support they deserve.
