Death of Another Dear Friend: Gerald Jalazo (August 19, 2025)
When people ask me if I’m “home sick” as I travel the world, I can honestly answer that I’m not. I do, however, miss the people I spend the most time with including my family and friends. One group in particular is my more than 8-year once-a-month poker group, lovingly named, The Men of Wrong Relations.
Every first friday for nearly a decade now, a small group of us get together and play poker — really, really poorly. In fact, for the first five years we posted a “what beats what” chart as I could never remember if a flush beats a straight. And that became my tell. When I glanced at the chart, everyone at the table knew they had to at least beat a straight for flush to win the round. Seriously, that bad.
About two years ago, the first member of our group to pass away suddenly was none other than Cello DeSilva. Cello was not only my friend, he was my fellow youth group leader for several years at UUCSR supporting high school youth.
Cello in his element — serving our youth as a youth group leader at UUCSR
The thing is, Cello was a man of many talents including singing, dancing, public broadcast host and congregational fellowship (he was also a lay minister), not to mention a massive Star Wars fan (as you can see in the pictures below).
When he became ill and went to the hospital, he was about my age (52) and there was no part of my brain that could accept he was dying until I saw him in the hospital bed. His death really shook me as he was the first of my close friends to pass away — and relatively suddenly.
Connection to Gerry Jalazo
I share all of this as context around how I’ve been feeling when I learned that another of our Men of Wrong Relations poker group, Gerry Jalazo, has passed. Like Cello, Gerry had a kind heart and loving nature. He was also a long-time religion education teacher at UUCSR in the grade “Bibelodian.” He made time for everyone and especially enjoyed spending time with his family.
Gerry Jalazo as RE Teacher in his Classroom at UUCSR
One of the many things I treasured about Gerry was his generally quiet and unassuming nature. You could just sit together and say nothing. I find that a rare quality that is often misunderstood. Gerry was comfortable in the silence and just enjoyed being together.
That worked really well when we would gather to play poker as he was always ready to play, and didn’t feel the need to dominate the conversation or lead. Always happy to contribute, Gerry’s soft-spoken nature added a gentle calm and peace to the group and had a way of helping us be together throughout the evening. Don’t get me wrong, Gerry had an exhibitionist side to him as well:
Gerry as one of his many appearances as the 1,000 Year-Old Man
Gerry enjoyed playing the “1,000 Year Old Man” whenever he had the opportunity to do so. This was a made-up character of his own design whereby he brought his sage wisdom (along with his aches and pains) to present-day groups curious about the answers to life’s biggest questions. He loved combining wisdom with humor and it worked well for Gerry.
The only part of Gerry that I never really knew (and only recently discovered on his Facebook page), was his connection to martial arts. I can’t tell if that’s just Gerry haming in up for the picture (which would certainly be “on brand”) or if this was an early demonstration of his front kick. Either way, that was another intersection that (at some point) we shared.
Similar to my experience with Cello’s death two years ago, when one person dies that is close to me, there are usually two others that pass around the same time. Soon after Cello’s death, my closest cousin Chuck Carmody passed away as well as the father of my best friend, James Graeber.
Within a week of hearing of Gerry’s death, my wife Elena’s Aunt Maureen (mother of Elena’s closest cousins, Holly and Tara) passed and so did the closest friend of Connie Knies (my mother-in-law), Maria Oppenheimer.
Grieving Losses of Those We Love
All of this is to say that I both love and honor each of these human beings. They made a massive difference in my life. At the very minimum, each of them remind me of life’s impermanence.
None of us know how much time we have in this life. Death can be a powerful reminder that each day is truly a gift to be savored and enjoyed. While I deeply miss Gerry Jalazo, I am equally grateful for the time we shared together. I appreciate each laugh I shared with him and the mini quirks that will remain at our poker table for years to come.
On the day of his death, one of the most loving and beautiful moments for me was a text exchange with each of my poker buddies where we celebrated all that is Gerry through his many memorable sayings through the years. It had me pause and be curious about what I will be remembered when I’m gone by those closest to me. It was a wonderful moment of reflection and opportunity to reconnect with who I choose to be this and every day.
While I’m not the one who decides, I will continue to put more Love, Courage, and Abundance into the world. Said another way, when I choose to BE LOVE, then I know I’m doing my best by being my best. Wishing you all the best and thank you for listening.
Love,
Bill
