The Kindness Doctor (December 9, 2025)
What are the odds that I meet “The Kindness Doctor”, a Ph.D from Nova Scotia (Canada) who happens to be traveling to Ho Chi Minh City for a conference the exact week that I’m here? I truly love how guided I am these days and the serendipity that occurs as a result.
Michelle Thomason (aka The Kindness Doctor) and Bill Carmody
Michelle Thomason is speaking at the "Shaping Tomorrow" conference in Ho Chi Minh City. It’s the 2nd Joint Congress of ICOH-WOPS & APA-PFAW, themed "IMAGINE! Shaping Tomorrow: Work and Well-Being," happening December 10-12, 2025, at the University of Economics Ho Chi Minh City (UEH). It brings together global experts to discuss workplace health, leadership, and future work trends, offering networking, research presentations, and discussions on enhancing work life.
This is also where Michelle Thomason will present her “C.H.O.O.S.E. Kindness” framework.
Michelle Thomason’s C.H.O.O.S.E Kindness Model
During our visit, we covered all sorts of topics including what a possible retirement life might look like. I had just gone through one hell of an experience being catfished (see related blog post) for a non-existant Chief Marketing Officer post at FranklinCovey. What that showed both of us, however, was that part of me was no ready to “be done,” and that’s absolutely true. There’s more that I’m committed to deliver in this world and despite having the ability to retire, I still feel called to contribute wherever I can. That holds true for Dr. Thomason as well.
Dr. Michelle Thomason created bookmarks to give out to people
Now, I neglected to have Dr. Michelle Thomason run me through her “C.H.O.O.S.E. Kindness” model so when I couldn’t find it on her website or her Instagram account, I asked Uncle Google and here’s what he came up with:
While there isn't a single official or universally recognized "C.H.O.O.S.E. kindness" acronym in popular use, several educational and motivational contexts have developed their own interpretations to encourage thoughtful communication and behavior.
Here is one possible version of an acronym for C.H.O.O.S.E focused on promoting kindness:
C - Consider others' feelings before acting or speaking.
H - Help when you can, offering support and a listening ear.
O - Open your mind to different perspectives and experiences.
O - Offer encouragement and positive words.
S - Speak with respect and empathy, even during disagreements.
E - Empathize with those around you, trying to understand their situation.
A more widely known acronym related to communication and kindness is THINK before you speak, which is often used in educational settings:
T – Is it True?
H – Is it Helpful?
I – Is it Inspiring?
N – Is it Necessary?
K – Is it Kind?
It turns out, however, that Google got it wrong, and Dr. Michelle Thomason was able to provide me with the correct information as follows:
C- Connecting
H - Habits
O- Openness
O - Opportunity
S - Systems
E - Elevate
She explained that this is an integration of 3 bodies of work: kindness research, positive intelligence and psychosocial factors and risks. She’ll be presenting it officially tomorrow. Happy days!
Dr. Michelle Thomason took a break from the dinner gala to send me the corrected information about the “C.H.O.O.S.E Kindness” model.
In the meantime, these are fabulous reminders to deepen our empathy with whomever we are speaking to and interacting with.
When I finally discovered that my AI-enabled scam artist was, in deed, catfishing me (see related blog post), I wasn’t a jerk about cutting “Anna” off. Here’s what I wrote:
“Break up” email with the scammer using deceased “Anna’s” profile
And, thanks to AI, the scammer wanted to convince me this was all a mistake, blah, blah, blah. Apologize for something that has never happened in all the years, blah, blah, blah. And a request to start over. This is when I requested a real-time zoom meeting (not giving enough time to create a fake AI avatar of “Anna”). And of course, super busy, unavailable, blah, blah, blah. And then “please request my LinkedIn” which of course “Anna” couldn’t. Thereby verifying my suspicions. But again, choose kindness even in ordeal like this …
Final message to the scammer pretending to be “Anna”
I share this because this approach SURE DOES beat the alternative. It would be easy to direct multiple expletives at the scammer, but to what end? Anger doesn’t solve anything. In fact, while the emotion of anger can be useful at times, staying angry is like setting yourself on fire and hoping that the other person dies of smoke inhalation. Long term anger tends to hurt the person who’s angry more than the person who is the target of said anger.
Which is why I love Dr. Michelle Thomason’s “C.H.O.O.S.E. Kindness” model (even if Uncle Google got the acronym wrong). Choosing kindness is an “active” state of being kind.
C- Connecting
H - Habits
O- Openness
O - Opportunity
S - Systems
E - Elevate
I’m sure I’ll learn more about Dr. Michelle Thomason’s “C.H.O.O.S.E. Kindness” model after she’s presented tomorrow. And, of course, THINK before you speak:
T – Is it True?
H – Is it Helpful?
I – Is it Inspiring?
N – Is it Necessary?
K – Is it Kind?
A similar model that has really helped me these last few years are three simple questions I’ve picked up along my journey:
Does something need to be said?
Does something need to be said … by me?
Does something need to be said … by me … now?
Often I don’t even need to get past the first question. Do I want to say something? Sure. But do I need to say anything? Usually not. When I pass the first question, the second one has me pause and wonder if it truly needs to be me saying anything. And, if so, is now the moment, or would it be better to reflect on this a bit further and come back to it?
Adding kindness to this model will certainly help me improve along the way. And, after all, isn’t that what we’re all here to do? So glad I got to spend some quality time with Dr. Michelle Thomason. I’m sure here presentation went great and I look forward to hearing all about it.
