Meditation Day 5: Acceptance, Compassion and Myelin (August 7, 2025)
It’s almost funny to think that it’s taken me this many days to truly accept my practice. If you asked me a few weeks ago have I truly accepted the schedule that Micky and I agreed upon, I’d admit that I had reservations but that I trust my teacher — he hasn’t steered me wrong yet.
The difference, it turns out, is the intellectual understanding versus the full being (and doing) of the practice. Noticing my resistance and expectations around how my practice should be improving has been extremely helpful. I’m also reminded from a previous transformational training that, “How we do ONE thing can show us how we do EVERYTHING.” So I’m open to the possibility that this is how I run my life (at least up to this moment in time).
That is, in my mind, I believe I’ve accepted something only to find out that as I begin the doing (and the being) parts that what I perceived as acceptance was actually just an intellectual understanding or preliminary agreement. Which leads me to the next part of the practice.
Having Compassion for Myself So I Can Increase It In Others
I spend so much time considering compassion as an “outward” function that I forget true compassion begins inside of me. It’s also beautiful to recognize how difficult or challenging something is for me so that I can deepen my compassion for others — even if what they struggle with is different.
For example, building businesses is relatively easy for me. That’s why I wrote Sage Business Development and launched AskBill.us to help others who don’t find it to be as easy as I do. And, I can have deep compassion for those who struggle to build their businesses in the same way that I struggle to maintain my focus during my meditation practice.
Having compassion for myself and my own suffering allows me to deepen my compassion for all those who suffer — even if what they suffer is different than what I suffer. The more I can recognize my own habits and challenges in changing those habits, the deeper my compassion goes for anyone attempting to change any habit in their life.
My Myelin is Growing (I Think)
With nearly 40 hours of meditation complete (so far), my skill development is growing to be sure. I’ve shifted from the disillusion of thoughts to practicing relaxation and working with disturbances. I’ve injected various forms of compassion into my practice organically. I’m adjusting my difficulty level to ensure I stay in the training zone — not too easy and not too difficult.
With all of these skills being worked on I have to think that my Myelin is growing. Of course, I don’t have an fMRI machine or other device on me to verify what I suspect, but as my practice continues, I’m noticing changes in my practice. The more I deepen my skills, the more I’m noticing and the faster my neurons are firing in my brain — especially as I toggle between various skills to support my practice (and work with whatever is coming up in the moment).
As I continue this work, one thing is certain. I’m going to leave this retreat with a boatload of new skills that I can practice and will have to determine how this impacts my daily habits at home (or should I say, my morning routine wherever I am in the world, as I won’t be home again until July 2026).
Thank you for sharing this journey with me. I suspect you may have some pro tips for me and I certainly welcome them now and in the future. I’m relatively new to this deep dive meditation practice, but enjoying it all the same.
