3 Years Sober (March 13, 2026)

Today is my three year anniversary of being sober.

My mom has a steel trap mind for dates — birthdays, anniversaries and deaths. She has this magical gift where you can tell her your special day just one time and she locks it in her mental calendar for life. I’m not like that. While I admire this super power, there are very few special days I keep front of mind. This is one of them.

I shared this cake with my family as we acknowledged my sobriety

On March 13, 2023, I woke up hung over and, for the first time, I wrote in my journal, “I am an alcoholic.” I meant it. Without knowing it, I had inadvertently begun Step One of a 12-step program. I admitted I was powerless over alcohol; that my life had become unmanageable.

My wife, Elena came down stairs at that moment and I looked up. Without hesitating I said to her, “Elena, I am and will always be an alcoholic. I don’t need your help right now. I know what I need to do. But one day I may come to you and try to convince you that I’m not an alcoholic. That is the day I will lie to your face and I will need your help. I need you to recall this conversation and help me by not believing my bullshit. I am and will always be an alcoholic.”

I receive so much strength from the love of my wife, Elena.

Just as I was saying this to Elena, my kids came downstairs. Violet asked, “What are you talking about, dad?”

Perfect timing — almost as if my family was being guided in this moment! I repeated what I shared with Elena. “Violet, your timing is perfect. I was just telling mom that I am and will always be an alcoholic. I know what I need to do, so I don’t need your help right now in this moment, but one day I may come to all of you and lie to your face and tell you that I’m NOT an alcoholic. That’s when I need your help. I need you to not believe my lie and remember this conversation.”

Violet’s response was a God-send. “Oh, thank God!” she exclaimed. “I always knew you were an alcoholic. Every Saturday I would watch you to see when you had your first beer. If it was at lunchtime, I knew I had lost you for the day.”

Mic drop.

Any doubt in my mind was wiped clean away. Any whisper in the back of my mind that maybe I wasn’t really an alcoholic was gone. I had finally surrendered to my disease. I let go of any thread of hope that one day I could be a “normal” drinker. Despite my deep desire to “Drink Responsibly” (just like it says on the label of the beer) as an alcoholic, I simply can’t. Not now, not ever.

Violet removed any and all doubt of my alcoholism. So greatful!

Violet gave me the greatest gift that day. Speaking her truth saved my life. Hearing her words that morning was exactly what I needed in the exact moment I needed it. Many refer to this as a “God wink.” It’s that beautiful gift of serendipity that let’s you know you’re on the right path.

Exactly one year later, Violet stood up at my Alcoholics Anonymous home group meeting and gave me my one-year sobriety coin. It was amazing to hear her speak about my journey. She was very proud that I had kept my promise not to drink alcohol and despite binge drinking since the age of 12, a full 38 years of alcoholism, I stopped. She had her dad back and I was there to witness her growth and development.

I was even sober at 2am when she woke me up out of a deep sleep to help her save her friend who was suicidal. Had I still been drinking, I would have been no help to her drunk and passed out (as was my normal drinking behavior before I quit).

My father-in-law, Richard Knies. My role model for being a man.

Last year, my father-in-law, Richard Knies stood up and gave me my second year sobriety coin at my AA home group. At 93 years of age, he’s still my role model of what a man can become. I’ve never heard him say an unkind word about another person. His advice to me is the foundation for my bestselling book, The Three Rules of Marriage. And when he stood up last year, he said, “I’m so proud of my son-in-law. How many father-in-laws can say that their son-in-law is their best friend?” Yes, I totally teared up when he said that (as did a number of my close friends in my AA home group).

When I choose to surround myself with people like Richard Knies, it’s much easier to live a sober life. I’m so lucky to have him in my life along with my mother-in-law, Connie Knies. Elena’s parents continue to be my role models for marriage and healthy living (mind, body and spirit). Their actions inspire me to be the best version of myself.

Cute kitty! This is what I think of when I think of my AA sponsor

This year, for my third anniversary, my sponsor who has multiple decades of sobriety, will receive my three year sobriety coin on my behalf. When I return to New York, I’ll celebrate with him (as well as my home group) and plan to be back for the 4th year of sobriety on March 13, 2027 (God willing). It’s a 24-hour program and now more than ever, I’m taking every day one day at a time. With the help of my family, I’m having the best years of my life and the gifts keep on unfolding.

Will, Violet, Elena and Leo’s surrogate stand-in kitty all keep me sober

I’m truly blessed to be on this World Tour with my family. Life’s unfolding is truly miraculous and I’m enjoying every minute of this experience — now more than ever. One of the MANY gifts of sobriety that keep unfolding.