Death of My Minister (April 17, 2026)
Yesterday I learned of the death of my dear friend and minister, the Reverend Doctor Natalie Fenimore. She’s been on my mind a lot today. Yes, I’m sad that she’s no longer here on this earth. The world has lost an incredible human today and one of my most cherished teachers.
Reverend Doctor Natalie Fenimore. My friend, mentor and minister.
The Reverend Doctor Natalie Fenimore was the lead minister at my congregation, the Unitarian Universalist Congregation at Shelter Rock (UUCSR), where I served as a youth group leader (i.e. “Senior Seminar Advisor”) for 18 years, was on the board of trustees, and served as the Chair for the Committee on Ministry (as well as other volunteer roles).
Loss of a Friend & Mentor
It’s hard to believe that the Reverend Doctor Natalie Fenimore is no longer with us. She has been through some of the most challenging times a congregation could face including COVID-19, the retirement of a senior minister, another minister going through a divorce and then changing careers, a few interim ministers, and some significant congressional challenges along the way.
Through it all, the Reverend Doctor Natalie Fenimore offered wise council and a unique perspective I could always count on. She was the minister that would say what she means without saying it mean. She would listen to anyone who wished to speak with her and usually say a few words and get right to the heart of the matter.
With the Reverend Doctor Natalie Fenimore, I could be direct and never felt like I had to edit myself so much as naturally have a deep desire to speak words of love; to heal rather than hurt and to build up rather than tear down. She made me want to be the best version of myself and encouraged me to really explore the depths of my unique being.
The greatest mentorship from the Reverend Doctor Natalie Fenimore were “deeds not creeds.” In other words, her actions spoke louder than her words (and that’s SAYING something because she was amazing with her words). She is the minster that taught me the saying, “We need not think alike to love alike.” And I’ve been repeating it every since I first heard her share it with me. (This saying is frequently attributed to 16th-century Transylvanian preacher Francis Dávid (or Ferenc Dávid), but believed to have originated in the 1960s).
Death: My Greatest Teacher
At the age of 53, I’ve changed my relationship with death. Life’s impermanence has taught me to embrace the life I have rather than fear the death that is most certainly coming my way. This all started a few years ago when my friend Cello (Marcelo de Silva) died at my age, then another dear friend and one of my martial artist teachers, Cort Stinehour dropped dead teaching a karate class. Then my poker buddy Gerald Jalazo died.
This had me take a deeper look at my own life and all that I wasn’t fully appreciating. The minute I stopped trying to ignore the inevitability of death and, instead, accepted this reality with all the wisdom this acceptance unlocks, life began to change in some really amazing and powerful ways.
I had heard the many stories of people who are given a terminal Cancer diagnosis only to become the most vibrant free spirits and the happiest they’ve ever been. It seems surreal to me. Then I realized, if I knew I only had one week to live, it would change what’s important to me; it would change my focus and what truly mattered.
Did I really need to wait until the very end of my life to pick up this powerful perspective? Just imagining this possibility had a powerful effect on me.
Begin with the END in Mind
Stephen R. Covey in his bestselling book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People urged his readers to write the eulogy of their own funeral. Imagine who would be there to pay their respects to you? What would you have them say? Most importantly, how would I like to be remembered for this life?
I’ve never forgotten that exercise. It had a profound impact on me.
More recently, I finally got around to reading The Body Keeps the Score and The Untethered Soul. In the Untethered Soul, Michael A. Singer explores the topic of death in such a beautiful and profound way. He put to words all the unspoken feelings and deep inner knowingness I’ve had in the past few years. The whole time I’m saying, “YES! This is exactly the point!” This part of the book is worth reading the whole book. While my perspective had already shifted here, the articulation was the best I’ve come across next to Tao de Ching (and he even references this timeless classic).
Back to My Minister
All of this is to say, the death of the Reverend Doctor Natalie Fenimore further reinforces my commitment to live life to the fullest. None of us know how much time we have here on this earth. Every breath could be our last. Rather than fear death, this fact is here to remind us to LIVE fully; to LOVE with all our hearts and practice GRATITUDE daily.
When I wake up, meditate and live with a grateful heart, I’m appreciating every moment of every day. Only when I’m fully present can I honor the time I’ve had with the Reverend Doctor Natalie Fenimore and the profound impact she’s had on my life. I’m lucky to have spent the quality and quantity of time I’ve been gifted to spend with this beautiful soul. My life has forever been enriched by our time together. I will honor her life by living mine to the best of my ability. She wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Not for me. Not for any of us.
So yes, I mourn for the loss of my minister. I practice “Sage Grief” by loving and honoring her. And I apply the wisdom she passed to me in my own life for as long as I have the privilege to be here. And so it is.
