Enter: Violet Carmody (August 29, 2025)

Nearly two months after we planned on setting off on this epic world tour together, I’m pleased to announce that Violet Carmody is getting on a plane today in New York and tomorrow morning, Iv and I will pick her up at the Frankfurt airport where she’ll join me for the next phase of the journey.

I’m beyond excited. This was the original plan all along and now it’s happening. I’ll still have nearly a month with Violet before the two of us meet up with Elena in Italy. Violet and I will travel to Amsterdam, Paris (and other parts of France), as well as Geneva and likely Madrid before heading to Italy. I can’t wait.

Picture from two months ago at Violet’s high school prom (June 2025)

And I have Iv Jaeger for helping me have this happen. Iv helped me see the truth of how I was holding this situation. As a parent, I had been surprised and blindsided and didn’t want to repeat this again while in Europe. What Iv helped me see is that my own fears were getting in the way of me having happen precisely what I wanted most — to spend quality time with my daughter out here in the world.

There is nothing — literally nothing — that I can do to prevent something from happening again. What I hadn’t noticed is my Controller sneaking in and making things worse for me. I wanted assurances and to be convinced that all would be well when, in fact, my very expectation(s) were getting in the way.

Only by “letting go” could I connect back with my heart and trust the all of life is, in fact, happening for me, not to me. Intellectually, I know this. And sometimes I forget — especially around the really challenging parts of life when I feel so far outside of my comfort zone.

The Paradox of “Wanting To Be A Great Dad”

Iv went one step further. She took me back when she said quite honestly and directly, “I’d hate being your child.” Whoa. Not expecting that. Please say more. “Imagine having a parent who appears to be perfect and has it all figured out. Do you realize how intimidating that must be for a teenager? When all you want is to rebel against your parents, what part of you is there to rebel against? How could I feel anything but inferior when comparing myself?”

Oh God. Never thought of it that way. Not that I’m perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I totally get where Iv was coming from. In the last 10 years, I’ve completely transformed myself. 90 pounds over weight? Lose it. Want to end my own life? Transform it. Don’t love my career? Pivot. Feeling deep levels of scarcity? Shift to Abundance. Difficulty in my marriage? No and that must be really annoying.

Ringing in my ears was the feedback that I don’t express anger. I always thought that was a good thing, but what if it' forced others to repress their feelings and not handle them in healthy, productive ways.

This parenting thing is hard bordering on impossible. If I don’t work on myself, I’m a self-absorbed, narcissistic jerk. My controller and hyper-achiever damage my relationships and hold me in negativity. So, of course, I do the work. I want more positivity in my life and it’s working … almost too well. I didn’t think that was possible. When I reach a space of what appears to be cool, calm and collected, that too can be off-putting. Huh? Say that again?

Byron Katie: Loving What Is

It all comes full circle back to my master teacher, Byron Katie. For a moment there, I forgot to truly “Love What Is” and what showed up was a story … a thought that wasn’t true. When I believed that thought, I was inadvertently creating distance between me and the one I love.

Unintentional? Absolutely. But the distance was there regardless. So what changed? I listened deeply to what Iv was sharing with me. I didn’t want to hear it. At first I fought the feedback until I realized the many triggers and disturbances that were surfacing — they were too powerful to ignore. So I let go. I stopped fighting and I allowed it all in. Then I saw what was in my blind spot and decided to take action. I sent a text to Violet:

Thank you 🙏 for reaching out to me and connecting. I realize I’m trying to figure out how to be with you in a loving 🥰 nurturing way without putting any pressure on you.

I further understand that there’s literally nothing I can do to help you despite my deep desire to do so.

I’m looking forward to spending time with you in Italy 🇮🇹 and to creating many beautiful moments and memories together.

What I wish most is for you to enjoy your life. I certainly am enjoying mine and enjoy it more when you are around me.

And then:

You are, and have always been whole, perfect and complete — exactly as you are. There’s no part of me that wishes to change any part of you. I love ❤️ you completely and appreciate all that you are.

Lastly, mom says you are ready to join me. Frankfurt this week, Amsterdam next or Paris the following. Let’s see what we can do. You have a bunch of miles on United. I told mom we should start there.

And with that, we aligned on coming out now — 24 hours later. Magical. All I needed to do was see my part in it and clean it up. It’s me. It’s always me. When I can see it I can act on it.

This is why I LOVE the coaching industry and spending so much time with such amazing coaches in the world. I’m growing my leaps and bounds. Thank you, Iv.