Reflections: A Year Abroad (June 8, 2028)
As this is my last month having traveled a full year abroad, there are some fairly common questions I’ve been asked and I’ve had the time to reflect on each of them. In this post, I’ll answer the most commonly asked questions (and feel free to click on the question(s) you’re most interested and/or share alternative questions not listed here).
But first, let me share this quote from Jim Carrey:
I have had the pleasure of living this truth and appreciate his wisdom
Even if I heard this as a child, I wouldn’t have understood or believed it. In response, I would have said, “OF COURSE becoming rich, famous and doing everything you every wanted IS THE ANSWER, duh!” But alas, Jim Carrey is exactly right.
When I was 12 years old, I promised myself that one day I would be happy. I just had a few conditions on my happiness. I promised myself I would be happy as soon as the following conditions were met:
I had at least $1 million dollars in the bank
I was the CEO of a multi-million dollar company
I was married to a breath-takingly beautiful woman
I had two amazing children
I had the freedom to travel and spend as much time as I wanted to in any country that I desired
Guess what? By 2014, I had EXCEEDED all of these expectations and was so depressed, I was ready to end my life. I distinctly remember looking out at the ocean in St. Lucia and asking myself, “IS THIS ALL THERE IS?”
That was the day I “gave up” on all my conditions. I let go of all my expectations and began to live life on life’s terms. This was the beginning of the total freedom, love, gratitude and (as a result) utter happiness I feel 95% of the time (and am working on that final 5%).
This is important context as I share the answers to the most frequently asked questions I receive about spending a full 12 months abroad.
Where was your favorite place that you’ve travelled?
While this is by far the most popular question, I need to caveat it by asking for further context. In other words, by what scale are you using?
Most “active” and “thrilling” city: Queenstown, New Zealand. This is where we bungee jumped off the original bridge that started all of commercial bungee jumping; where Elena, Violet and I each paraglided off mountains. We also went Zorbing and SkyJumped off the tallest building (and Auckland).
Best massages are found in Thailand and only cost $10/hr.
Best food depends on your taste (and recency bias), but I’ve loved the unique flavors found in Peru including Alpaca meat.
Best cave was found in central Vietnam.
Best museum would be impossible to rate (for the same reasons of “favorite place”, but I was most moved by Hiroshima, Japan.
Most unique experience was just about every day, but what stands out was sitting inside the UN translation booth with Nathalie or touching the first web server at CERN that started today’s Internet.
Most beautiful lake was, surprisingly in Croatia.
Most memorable day was sitting with many coaches in the UK.
Best keynote delivered in a totally unexpected place (and the runner up, just as unexpected).
Most unusual experience was Sky Biking. Yep, that’s a thing!
Most surprising place to scuba dive was in the Philippines, and while I didn’t do it, I look forward to scuba diving in a cenote.
So, you see, there are many answers, but this is where I deploy my “audience-centered” focus. Depending on who is asking the question, I may have a totally different answer based on what I believe the person asking would find fascinating. Often, the question underneath the question is “Where do you recommend that I go visit on my next trip?”
And, again, the answer will vary based on what the person asking is most interested in: Nature vs. City Life, What kind of food they like, 5-star hotels or inexpensive hostels, willing to drive or prefer taking Uber?
What was one of the things that was most unexpected?
A really good friend of mine once said to me, “An expectation is a pre-meditated resentment.” Whoa! That one took my head clean off. It was the first day I began to “let go” of my expectations. The result has been to loosen my grip on life and to begin wearing life like a loose garment.
And yet, my unconscious expectations continue to reveal themselves. For example, when I decided to rent a car in Mexico, I thought I had found the deal of a lifetime. For less than $200, I could rent an SUV for 10 days … $20 per day, are you kidding me? YES, PLEASE. And, of course, when something sounds too good to be true, it is. “The catch” was that (after being driven 20 min away from the airport) the insurance for the care was mandatory and another five times the cost of the rental at $800. Oh, so total cost is exactly the same as in the US, then? Bummer.
But there are surprise and delight elements that are even more important to underscore here. Like, for example, I had no idea that my friend Yael organized a giant send off on my last day in the UK. This was unexpected and incredible. In fact, many times coaches from all over the world would not only allow me to stay in their homes, but also take the time to show me their favorite parts of their country. In France, Claudia Mundi introduced Violet and I to Gan, France while Sally Mahamdeh, took us to the Dune of Pilat. Iv and here husband Thomas showed us around Mannheim (and Heidelberg, Germany). While Nikola, Ivana, Dino, Nika and Maro Maras took me all throughout Croatia (the mountain side, not the beach version most people know).
It’s true to say that much of this trip was “unexpected” as I focused on three things: (1) Flights / transportation TO each country, (2) Where I was staying inside each country, and (3) Who I would meet up with when I was there. Beyond that, I allowed the adventure to unfold itself.
What did you miss from home as you travelled abroad?
Family first. When they weren’t traveling with me, my wife Elena, son Will and daughter Violet are at the top of my list. After my immediate family, comes my extended family: Nana, Ga, Mom, Dad, brother Brian, step-mom Georgiana, and all my in-laws (Nancy, Jack, Drew, Laura, Eric, Naomi, etc.) and all my cousins and relatives (shout out to Sabrina Kadrie who has been reading my blog since the beginning!!!)
I was a bit surprised at how much I missed my cat, Leo. Over the years, he’s become part of the family and I noticed how much I went out of my way to visit Cat Cafes and pet local cats around the world as a substitute for my own cat back home.
Soo Bahk Do, Moo Duk Kwan. I miss going to my martial arts 4 days a week. My friends there have been a noticeable gap in my life. I would say the same for all my friends at Early Cup, my 7am AA meeting I attend nearly every day of the week.
First Friday Poker Night. This was a tradition started more than 8 years ago representing more than 100 evenings of what we loving refer to ourselves as “The men of wrong relations.” This is an outlet for any and all stress build up during the month. We let lose and bond together.
While there’s more, you get the point. The lack isn’t around a specific restaurant or convenience. It’s my community and the people I’ve connected with over the years. My family moved to Port Washington in 2005 (more than 20 years ago) and this trip has allowed me to see just how deep our roots run in this community.
What stands out most for you over the past year?
First, that I truly can live anywhere. Now that I’ve had the privilege to visit 52 countries in as many weeks, I’m clear on the fact that I really can live anywhere. Yes, I’d miss my friends and community (see previous question above), but everywhere I’ve visited has something special to contribute when it comes to living your best life.
Second, that people are more alike than different all over the world. Most people are kind, loving and generous. Most people would prefer peace to conflict. And most people would love to spend quality time with the people they love. There are so many similarities, often the only barrier is language and thanks to Google Translate and similar technology advancements, this barrier is coming down quickly.
Third, that I really desire for more people to travel extensively like this. It removes the “othering” that makes war and conflict possible. When we know specific people in many different countries, the pain and suffering inflected by governments becomes much more personal and acute. Seeing North Korea with my own eyes changed me. So many people are suffering all to support the fragile ego of one man and his family. It’s not so dissimilar back home in the US right now. I do hope that this begins a larger awakening of what’s really happening in the world so that individuals never forget just how powerful we all are. Or, as Edmund Burke famously said, ““The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
What advice would you give someone who is planning to travel extensively in the future?
Three things: (1) Plan to stay longer than you believe you need to, (2) Be sure to book your flights and hotel, but keep your day-to-day plans flexible, and (3) Ask your network who they might know and could introduce you where you’re traveling.
If you plan every day from sunrise to sunset, you’ll be exhausted and this trip won’t be sustainable. Less is more. If you have three days of things you want to do, give yourself 5 or more days to do them. Every 7 to 10 days, I have a “down day” like I’m giving myself today. It allows you to sleep in so you can catch up on your sleep, reflect on where you’ve been, and reach out to the people you want to connect with.
Lock in your flights and, most of the time, where you’re staying. But by keeping your day-to-day plans flexible, you give yourself permission to adjust your plans based on new information and opportunities you might not have previously known about when you were planning.
Asking your network for introductions allows you to “know” someone locally so that you feel less like a tourist. Even if all this means is that you have lunch with a local, their on-the-ground insights are invaluable to you and won’t feel like much work to them. If you don’t know anyone and your network comes up short, visit a community when you arrive. If you’re religious, go to a service. If you’re an alcoholic like me, go to an AA meeting. This is where you’ll discover a wealth of knowledge and people who are glad to give you their insights and support.
What was it like visiting in person Alcoholics Anonymous meetings in different parts of the world?
This question comes up mostly from my friends in my home group of Alcoholics Anonymous (a.k.a. “The Early Cup of Sobriety”) in Manhasset, New York. I love this question because the answer is unexpected. Some of my best AA meetings were in places you might not have considered including Vietnam and Peru. In Hanoi, Vietnam, not only was there an English speaking AA meeting, but I met my friend, Duk, who took me hiking on my birthday.
In Cusco, Peru, I attended a meeting in all Spanish and my Spanish language skills are “muy poquito.” I was still fascinated by how much I was able to follow along having attended several hundred meetings in English. I loved that we spoke the Serenity Prayer in Spanish and that it was printed on a large poster I could read while following along.
In contrast, Lima, Peru has a fully English AA meeting and because I was the newest participant, I was asked to share my experience, strengths and hope at Saturday’s Speaker’s Meeting. I loved it. I missed doing service and this was an excellent way to deepen my connection just two days into meeting this group. I also loved how they used the book As Bill Sees It for discussion and reflection purposes as well as topics written on large popsicle sticks as a way to reflect on various topics.
What I missed is how my home group (Early Cup) opens by saying the AA pre-amble in unison. I love this tradition. When I was on a cruise ship (perhaps in Greece?) I was asked to read the pre-amble, but instead was able to say it from memory. My fellow AA member then demonstrated she could say the “How it works” part by memory. Damn! That was impressive and gave me something to work on. Love it!
And here’s the thing. I may not have gotten to an AA meeting every week in every country I visited, but each in person meeting encouraged me to make more meetings. I always met super cool humans who, like me, are recovered alcoholics. We share the same path, and I would hear myself in each of their stories. “Yep, that’s me,” “I totally did that,” and “But for the grace of God, I put down the shovel and stopped digging before that became my life.”
Deep reflection. Instant bonds with people all over the world. Amazement that just over 85 years ago, NONE of this existed. Now it’s a global phenomenon. Boy am I glad I live in this century where AA is global and available in English in person and online 24 hours a day, 7 days a week including (and especially) major holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving and New Year. I feel so lucky to be part of this amazing group of people, despite how I ended up here.
Where did you want to go, but couldn’t?
Many places still left on my bucket list of travel adventures. At the very top is the middle east. I really wanted to go to Dubai. But to get there, my trans daughter, Violet, and I would have had to go through Muslim countries that range from (clearly and verbally) “anti-trans” to “jail and/or murder you” if you are trans or support a person who is trans.
Might we have made it there safely? Perhaps. If I was just going with Elena and/or Will, there would not likely be any problems. But why take the risk with Violet? Now, with the US conflict, war, and bombing of Iran, it’s even less safe to travel there and other places in the middle east. I didn’t want to end up being captured as a US tourist who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I had planned to visit South Africa and spend quality time there. But when Elena shared she wanted to join me for Italy, Japan and Thailand, I changed our plans and skipped South Africa in favor of giving Elena a tight 6-weeks where she could travel with Violet and me. I still very much would like to visit South Africa and will do so in the not-so-distant future.
I had planned on visiting China in general and the Great Wall (and Shanghai) in particular. Yes, I’ve been to Hong Kong and China before, but this time I wasn’t granted a Visa, so I could not go.
Antartica is still high on my list. I almost rerouted to join my good friend Greg who went this year while I was in South Korea with my son Will and daughter Violet. Too many loose ends and risks of getting to the southern most tip of Argentina and not being able to get to Antartica.
And the Galapagos Islands. Elena really wants to visit too, so I’m sure we’ll make it happen. The logistics of making it happen on this trip was more than a little challenging and the amount of time needed was beyond what I had budgeted for the final month of my trip.
I also didn’t make it to Poland and Prague, nor did I feel safe traveling to Russia at the moment — especially with the war with Ukraine. So as conflicts and wars are resolved, new opportunities will open up and there are still a number of places I’d like to visit. Originally, I had planned on visiting Venezuela, until the US invaded and again didn’t feel like a good idea given the current (US-inflicted) instability.
What’s an uncommon insight you’d like to share? Perhaps something I should I ask you about your trip?
What I did this past 12 months feels “impossible” for most people. It’s not. Neither is the 140.6 mile Ironman I completed or the Unconditional Inner Peace I now have. This is a core example of the difference between “One Day” and “Day One.”
When we say, “One Day, I’d like to travel the world for a year …” it’s a dream; something that exists in the future that is unlikely to come closer to the present.
When we say, “This is DAY ONE of my commitment to traveling the world for a year starting on [insert your date here] …” Do you hear the difference? It’s a whole different level of commitment. Day one means, “Starting today, I’m fully committed, despite not having the evidence of how I will pull it off.”
Re-read the Jim Carrey quote at the top of this page. If being rich and famous and doing everything you ever dreamed of is NOT the answer, then begin asking yourself “What IS the answer?”
Love. For me, anyway, it’s Love. Particularly, “Loving What Is” as Byron Katie would say. Loving everything exactly as it is, not as I wish it to be. I love that as soon as I declared that I would complete a 140.6 mile Ironman, the universe conspired to help me. I met Siri Lindly and Rebecca Keat at exactly the moment I made my commitment.
The same goes for my commitment to travel the world. As soon as I was committed, people went out of their way to help me. I could not have sustained this world tour without close to a hundred people offering me unbelievable support throughout my 52 week journey. They wouldn’t have been encouraged to reach out had I not made the preparations to be ready for this incredible abundance of support. If you truly want this, you can make it so. It begins with your own commitment. First to yourself (i.e. “DAY ONE”) and then your deep and unwavering commitment to traveling the world for a full year.
How much did all of this travel cost you?
While I’ll need to double check the final numbers when I get back home, I believe it cost me significantly less than it cost me to live in Port Washington, New York. When Elena and I sat down with our financial advisor, Veronica Karas, we completed an exercise in our monthly living expenses. The biggest expense is paying for our for-profit health care in the US. After that, it’s our home, house taxes, food and living expenses. All told, to support our two young adult children (including their education) and trips to see our extended family across the country, it works out to about $10,000 per month.
For this trip, our biggest expense was our flights, followed by our hotel / AirBnb, and then food, ground transportation, tour guides and various entrance fees. But the cost of living outside the US is generally much less in the majority of the places visited. True, there are parts of Europe that can be as or more expensive, but that can often be offset by staying with friends along the way.
When you commit to traveling the world, you start with a target budget. Most flights can be purchased for a few hundred dollars or less. Hotels have ranged from $20 a night on the low-end to upwards of $150 a night on AirBnb for 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath homes where the four of us could stay together. Yes, if you want to stay in the heart of Tokyo, Japan, that number will go up. But if you’re willing to stay about an hour outside of Tokyo by train (see related post), you can always find something within this range.
Could you travel the world for a year within a budget of $52,000 or less? Absolutely. At $1,000 per week, you may need to stay in places at $50 per night to offset the cost of flights and meals, but it’s doable. It won’t be the Four Seasons or top brand hotel, but then again you will be staying with locals who know the ins and outs of their city.
Don’t believe me? My best resource has been Kayak.com. I can see the cost of flights and hotels well in advance and budget accordingly. Building your budget for an extensive trip like this can be part of “DAY ONE” (instead of “One Day” as stated above).
I began planning for this trip 5 years before I got on my first flight. It was only tonight that I purchased my final hotel stay in Santiago, Chile and last week when I selected the final day of my travel: Wednesday, June 24th and purchased my last flight home.
Yes, it might take putting 10% or 20% (or more) of your net take home pay to build up your full travel budget. Many of life’s circumstances will challenge you to keep saving. But who you become as you save and plan for this trip is more important than the final act of making it happen. I stand by my earlier statement that anyone who is committed can organize, save, and travel for a full year. Some who can will work remotely. Others will use services like Trusted House Sitters to reduce or eliminate their housing expenses.
Your trip will look quite different than mine. And that’s the point. This is YOUR trip around the world. Only you can decide what’s best for you.
Are you returning to Positive Intelligence when you’re done?
No.
For those coaches who know me as my role as the former Chief Coaching Officer of Positive Intelligence, I am deeply grateful for the more than six years I spent at Positive Intelligence. It was an incredible opportunity to align my commitment with supporting every coach to become financially free with Shirzad Chamine’s commitment to equip everyone with the PQ operating system.
Talking with coaches around the world has only solidified my deep and unwavering commitment to support every coach to be financially free. That’s why I launched AskBill.us as a totally free platform to help coaches sustainably build their coaching business. It’s why I continued to join Zoom calls while traveling the world to continue to contribute.
When I return home next month, I will look for the best possible ways to continue to be a servant leader within the coaching community. What that exactly looks like will continue to unfold and reveal itself in time.
Why did you post on your blog every single day?
Imagine visiting 52 countries in as many weeks. How do you keep track of the time you spent in Croatia versus New Zealand? Posting every day was not a chore, nor did it feel like “work.” Every day was different, so I wanted to diligently honor the time I was investing in each location.
You might remember where you were and what your were doing on the major holidays (and even your birthday), but what about a random Tuesday in March or October? I posted every day first and foremost for ME so that I could remember where I was and what I was doing. Yes, I also kept a diary, but I think of my blog posts as my public-facing journal of each day I spent on this trip. The pictures are just a faction of the total number of pictures I took. And yet they give a real sense of what I was doing that particular day.
Sure, it’s only a snapshot, but it’s also a great way to jog my own memory of who I was visiting, where I was staying and the various activities I choose to do on that particular day.
What took your breath away?
Over an 80-year lifespan, it is said that the average human will take between 650 to 700 million breaths. What we remember are the moments that take our breath away. As I think about this question, I can honestly say this happened at least once per day, every day during the entirety of my trip. Here are some of the visuals that captured some of the many moments that took my breath away:
Violet swan dives from Auckland’s SkyTower 193 meters high
This is what I saw when I did the same precise jump
Violet’s very first skydive over Paris, France … 4,000 meters!
Paragliding in Queenstown, New Zealand … Elena & Violet did this too!
Bill Carmody swan diving off the ORIGINAL Bungee Jump Bridge
Actual view with no glass! My family went shark diving in Fiji … together.
Yes, this is called SkyBiking and I’m 115 feet off the ground
It’s not all extreme, either. This is but a small sampling of more than 320 blog posts (and counting). My family and I did some amazing things together. Even spending time at a waterslide park in Thailand will remain a core memory for years to come.
Scuba diving (with or without sharks), discovering and exploring cenotes, ruins, mountains, forests, ocean, sharing meals, spending time with friends, sleepovers, laser tag with children, flying kites, playing on playgrounds around the world, keynotes, zoom chats, sharing stories, and even remembering the lives of those who died during this time (including my poker buddy as well as my minister).
This year has been filled with so many moments that have taken my breath away, I’m proud to have taken the time to document all of them — one at time right here on my blog. May you live each day as if it were your last so that you can lean into your incredibly epic life. Much love!
